I’m not quite sure why people treat upcoming birthdays and ‘ageing’ as a bad thing. Well people around my age at the very least. As each year passes, I grow more and more thankful for the experiences that I’ve had in life. 18 is a good age that most people seem to want to remain. But I wouldn’t want to be the same person I was when I was 18. Not that I was a horrid person or a person I would be ashamed of to be but the person that I was then is not the same as the person that I am today nor is it the person that I want to be in the future. ‘Ageing’ and growing older is nothing more than progression. Why be afraid? Why be afraid of going forward and instead wanting to cling to stepping backwards?
You are amazing, your strength is so admirable. That’s the person I want to become. To be able to stand tall. Back straight, head held high, confidence in abundance. Take to heart only words which matter, walk away from words of malice. Positivity graces your lips, negativity doesn’t pierce you.
Mental strength and happiness is beautiful. More beautiful than anything on the surface,
Please do not ever disappear. Please grow stronger and spread your influence. Give our future a chance to experience your warmth, your compassion. Overtake fear and harm. Please do not ever, ever disappear.
Forgiveness is what I seek. Not yours but my ability to do so. I’m almost to the end of the chapter, just a few pages away. Forgiveness is what I need to reach the end. I’m eager to turn that last page. I’m eager for what is to come after that. But the pages won’t lift, won’t move. Not until this one is flicked to the back, flicked to the past. The only thing that stands in my way now is forgiveness. Or rather, the lack thereof.
I will forgive you. I do forgive you, I just haven’t forgiven you for everything. Don’t give more pages in this chapter, just let me reach that final page.
I’m trying to hold on to a place of positivity. I think that you have no space there, the difference is so vast, you make me shake with fury, with disbelief. They make me smile, they inspire me. I’m glad it’s over. I’m glad you can no longer try to make me someone else. I’m glad I can be me again, learning and growing at my own pace. You are poisonous to my growth.